How to Avoid a First Time Flop

One of the most common discussions that we have in the lifestyle is around “how did you get started?”  There have been many times that we’ve heard about bad first experiences and we really feel for those couples.  My husband and I have managed to avoid these situations and I’d love to share the things that we’ve done that I think have contributed to that.

  1. NEVER TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM. This sometimes happens because you love your partner and you want them to be happy. You see that they are turned on and excited by 1/2 of the couple, but you are not feeling it. That’s OK!  That four-way connection is actually quite elusive.  You could always give it sometime and see if that attraction to the other 1/2 blossoms, or if you and your partner are very comfortable, you can allow them to engage in a threesome with that couple, or maybe even go solo.  Or sometimes, it’s just not in the cards and you move on.
  2. TRUST YOUR GUT. A lot of the stories that I’ve heard have included a statement like “we got a weird vibe from them, but we figured we’d give them a chance.” My husband jokes with me sometimes about my gut feels and how frequent they happen, but we’ve still managed to avoid those uncomfortable situations and I’d like to keep it that way.
  3. BE HONEST. This is an obvious statement with your partner but it’s important that you are honest about what you want to/are willing to do with your next potential couples. This is everything from where you want to meet, what your rules are in the bedroom, or even if maybe you can’t play because it’s that “time of the month”. We center our entire relationships around honesty and we hope that we get the same from others.

Knowing and practicing these things up front should help you avoid that first time burn, but in the case they don’t (or you didn’t know about these items before) please don’t give up on it. There are more great couples out there than there are bad and there all different ways to find them!

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